Some nights when I’m bored I watch youtube videos of Bear and Bright Lights. Call me a groupie or whatever you want, but it’s indeed one of my favorite things to do when I’m bored.

And every single time, I can’t help but wonder…

Why the hell doesn’t my boyfriend sing anymore?

No disrespect to the Vinyls because they do make great music, and i love them dearly, but I miss Zach’s voice. I miss waking up and knowing that I’m headed to whatever shitty venue is left in this state in a few hours to hear his voice all around me. 

I understand Bears had it’s run. I’ve even accepted that Gates moved on without him. Truth be told, I love the music Gates has put out. All of those guys are incredible musicians and the fact that they are touring in Europe soon is fucking incredible. I’m proud of them whether we’re close or not. I’m glad I know them and I hope they continue to great things. I truly mean that. (Side note, I’m looking forward to seeing them and marlo at the meatlocker tomorrow night. If you hadn’t planned on it, you should definitely come out!)

But I miss Zach’s voice. I miss him singing and expressing his emotions and connecting with the audience and everything else. I think I took it for granted. But even before we started dating, his songs struck a cord in me. They made a difference in me. And I don’t think talent like that should be wasted.

A few days ago Zach received some notes and songs his father wrote many years ago before he passed away. The first thing I noticed was that him and his father have not only the exact same facial features, but they have the exact same handwriting. The second thing I realized, is that 20 years from now, I want to have notebooks of Zach’s songs to show to our kids. I only have one piece of paper right now. “Hey Nineteen” from when he was in Learning Takes a Lifetime. I wasn’t even dating him when he wrote it but he knew I loved it so much that when he found the original notes for the lyrics he gave it to me. =] 

I want more.

This world deserves more. Your voice and thoughts and ideas and feelings deserve to be heard. 

I’ve told you a million times, so here’s a million and one. I love you, and your voice has changed my life. Let it change others.