A few hours ago my mom and I sat in the car and discussed how sweet, caring and committed you are to me.

It’s like the second you go to define someone, right after they make a change or do something remarkable or moving, they do something hurtful or disappointing.

Why do I bother having standards or trying classify or find meaning in the people around me?

The second I feel safe or find promise or hope in someone, they blow it.

No expectations. No surprises. No disappointments. Maybe that’s how I need to live in order to avoid getting hurt. Because this pain in my chest wasn’t here an hour ago.